StarfishEatr

Recently, I uncovered evidence of some pretty wild allegations about me being spread through the Seattle area by some former friends of mine who seem to have lost their fucking minds to paranoia and psychosis. I'm already working with counsel to bring action against the individuals responsible, but in the meantime, should you be fed any of their nonsense about alleged criminal activities associated with my name, rest assured those are lies manufactured to injure my reputation, isolate me from my friends and acquaintances, and to prevent me from making new ones. Please report any such slander to me, and I will handle it.