Hey, guys! I'm still sort of novice and wonder who's dealt with this: I'm neg bottom, have a kid which gives me a reason to stay neg. I've tried to stay on safer side with poz tops (blow jobs, ask them to use rubbers while fucking or pull out before cumming, etc.) For me, several things are attractive about fucking positive guys raw. Forbidden aspect, feeling like it'd be easier to hook up if I'm poz myself, romanticizing the "outsider" status. Now I'm approached by poz top whose attitude is kinda dark & aggressive. Like wanting to give me poz loads is what's most important to him. I'm both repelled and attracted. Been there before? Any thoughts? (besides the fact that my psyche is screwy...lol)

Yep, your psyche is screwed. Have fun, but remember you have a kid to take care of and it's more difficult to do so when you're busy taking care of yourself. He sounds like the one to poz you.

Dude, don't do it. You're just being selfish. Think about your kid.

DON'T GET POZ. ON PURPOSE...IT IS A VERY SERIOUS VIRUS THAT AFFECTS PEOPLE DIFF. SOME PEOPLE MAY HAVE IT AND NEVER GET SICK OTHERS DIE WITHIN 6 MONTHS TO A YEAR IF THEIR BODY THAT NOT REACT WELL TO MEDS. BEST OF LUCK

DON'T GET POZ. ON PURPOSE...IT IS A VERY SERIOUS VIRUS THAT AFFECTS PEOPLE DIFF. SOME PEOPLE MAY HAVE IT AND NEVER GET SICK OTHERS DIE WITHIN 6 MONTHS TO A YEAR IF THEIR BODY THAT NOT REACT WELL TO MEDS. BEST OF LUCK

I agree with the above poster, it is just not worth it. While some people are okay on the meds others do have side effects and some do not react well at all, so end up with a horrible life, no energy, constantly ill, can't work. Additionally, if you're from the USA and some other places it'll cost you heaps for the meds every month.

And even if you are okay on the meds, be aware that while they will stave off the virus the meds will eventually kill you.....

Do you want to live to see your kid grow up? To know your grandchildren?

Hey, guys! I'm still sort of novice and wonder who's dealt with this: I'm neg bottom, have a kid which gives me a reason to stay neg. I've tried to stay on safer side with poz tops (blow jobs, ask them to use rubbers while fucking or pull out before cumming, etc.) For me, several things are attractive about fucking positive guys raw. Forbidden aspect, feeling like it'd be easier to hook up if I'm poz myself, romanticizing the "outsider" status. Now I'm approached by poz top whose attitude is kinda dark & aggressive. Like wanting to give me poz loads is what's most important to him. I'm both repelled and attracted. Been there before? Any thoughts? (besides the fact that my psyche is screwy...lol)

It's very hard to resist taking poz loads once you got it in your brain. It happened to me and many others I've talked with. A always give in to them because it's impossible to stop myself.

wow its like this came right from my head.

im in the same boat. i go out to a sunas or beat and guys there are straight up wanting bb. until i had this 1 guy who said whilst fucking 'you want my dirty load'. then i was feeling yes i do but need to say no. now im getting im / pm's from guys who are neg and poz and im like i want all the cum i can get and poz loads are getting me very hard.

im like i want all the cum i can get and poz loads are getting me very hard.

Only thing that gets me really turned on is the idea of taking poz loads - head turns off and my cock takes control. Scary but so horny.

why is it that the thought of taking poz loads gets you so f'in horny...like so many other guys on here? Whats all that about?

Hey, guys! I'm still sort of novice and wonder who's dealt with this: I'm neg bottom, have a kid which gives me a reason to stay neg. I've tried to stay on safer side with poz tops (blow jobs, ask them to use rubbers while fucking or pull out before cumming, etc.) For me, several things are attractive about fucking positive guys raw. Forbidden aspect, feeling like it'd be easier to hook up if I'm poz myself, romanticizing the "outsider" status. Now I'm approached by poz top whose attitude is kinda dark & aggressive. Like wanting to give me poz loads is what's most important to him. I'm both repelled and attracted. Been there before? Any thoughts? (besides the fact that my psyche is screwy...lol)

id go for it i have taken poz loads still neg but its so wild and the danger feeling knowing you might get hiv but even if you did its not a death sentence any more and you could still be with your son raising him with meds that help you live so dont listen to all the close minded assholes in here do it have fun to many chichens in here that are to affraid to take a chance

You have to understand you're feeling a disconnect between the erotic and the virus. Yes, the forbidden is enticing, the thrill is engaging, but the virus will change your life forever.

Theres also a disconnect with the virus in the media. Many believe that they can now live with the disease along as they have meds. Yes research has come along way but I have had heart attacks because of the meds I am on.

You are a father, you need to be there for your child. Educate yourself, it will help you resist the urges.

Heres some great documentaries worth watching

The Gift - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKCcr_ayvMo

Bug Chasers -

I understand you posted this in October. How are you feeling now?

at the end of the day there is still a risk even if the poz guy pulls out before cumming. HIV is still present in pre-cum.

only you can choose the correct answer, but i know wouldnt like to have to sit my kid down (if i ever have any) and tell them that i was HIV poz.

Well, this is a bareback site. What you guys want to get on here? I am not saying guys should chase HIV virus, but as long as we all do bareback, we all might become POZ someday. So why be so mean to him?

Hey, guys! I'm still sort of novice and wonder who's dealt with this: I'm neg bottom, have a kid which gives me a reason to stay neg. I've tried to stay on safer side with poz tops (blow jobs, ask them to use rubbers while fucking or pull out before cumming, etc.) For me, several things are attractive about fucking positive guys raw. Forbidden aspect, feeling like it'd be easier to hook up if I'm poz myself, romanticizing the "outsider" status. Now I'm approached by poz top whose attitude is kinda dark & aggressive. Like wanting to give me poz loads is what's most important to him. I'm both repelled and attracted. Been there before? Any thoughts? (besides the fact that my psyche is screwy...lol)

I feel the same way. I also have a kid and want to be used by poz men. I know that people will think I am just fantasizing but it is honestly wht I want. and the deeper they go into me the better. as for me, if there was (were)poz tops who wanted to give me thier poz loads in my mouth and down my throat or deep inside my hole, i would let it happen in a second

tell that aggressive poz top to contact me.

I have the same prob except I'm a neg top who gets hit on by extremely attractive poz bottom guys all the time...

GO FOR IT.....erotic and hot. Something very intimate about a converison

Leaving the kid out of the equation, barebacking is risky and you have a good chance to get HIV. Your decision is to bb or not. If you bb expect to get infected at some point. some poz with the first bb fuck, other can go for years. The sperm in your ass feels the same whether it is neg or poz seeds in you. you can always ask the guy his status, hoping he will tell you the truth. Lots of guys do not test so they don't know they are poz and are fucking raw.

You only choice to stay neg is to have the tops wrap. Pulling out does not work, because guys have precum that you get in your ass.

sorry guy...but you have responsibilities now...time to put away your personal wants and desires...what makes you think you can engage in risky behavioir.....there is no safety in pulling out before cumming and serosorting is shakey at best...and be a good attentive and always there fater?....quite whining accept the responsibilties you have taken upon yourself and look at dirty pics if you need..and bw I have been hiv+ for 13 years...I can tell you there is nothing erotic about it

Look at real poz guys. I mean after 20 years. You don't know if you will be a lucky one, or rather unlucky in the looks department. I'm poz looking, very much so. I guess there are men who would love me to top them, because I look buggier than I really am.

I did not try to become poz, but I realized it was easier in a way, once I was poz. And yet, it was not. A neg guy has the power: he can say yes or no to anyone, and stay neg. He is always more handsome, and usually going places in life. Poz guys may be, too, but we have a lot of "issues."

Being topped by a dark poz guy is the domain of the poz men. It is a consolation prize for having this shitty disease. I've done it: I've done it all. fluid exchange, every kind. I am okay - lucky in that way that I did not get Hep C. But I am not immune to fantasizing about ruining my health, and giving myself over to a dark 666 man.

Why we allow this is as sad as it is interesting. It has to do with survival instincts, and self-opinion. peace

Not had much luck in contacting any POZ guys in Minnesota. It's in my head now to convert. I want a guy's sperm or his blood. Want it real bad.