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Question:

Dear Michael,

I am new at barebacking, I'm a negative bottom but found a really hot top poz guy. We agreed that he would fuck me with a condom, and after he cums, freeze the cum and later inject it into my ass to use as lube. How safe is this. I don't want to convert, but really get off on this guys cum in my ass. Any advice.

Also, how risky is it for him to put his cock in my ass bareback and drop a load of piss in me?? Would the piss disinfect my ass and take care of any potential risk for infection?

Also, what is pnp??

Curious Cumsickle

Answer:

Dear C.C.,

So, you want to bareback? Good for you. You have certainly come to the right place. Be warned however to be careful when expressing your desires. There are a lot of Bareback Nazis out there who will give you a serious about of shit about your decision. Be strong, ignore them and get the cock you need!

1. You are just fucking with me and wasting my precious time.

2. You are a 15-year-old boy fucking with me and wasting my precious time and should therefore get off the fucking site and visit Dr. Drew or something.

3. You are the dumbest asshole ever to enter the gay community.

That said, I'm going to go where no other advice columnist would ever go before on the assumption that there are not stupid questions, just dumb motherfuckers.

Let's start with the first part of this carnival of insanity. Why the fuck do you think freezing his sperm would lessen your likelihood of HIV transmission? Do you know what scientists do when they want to save viruses in a laboratory so they can use them later? They fucking freeze them!! Beyond that, why the hell do you want frozen sperm injected into your ass? You are not a dyke looking to get pregnant, are you?? Look, if you want to feel your boyfriend's cum in your ass it is going to feel a lot nicer getting it from the source while he is fucking you. No ifs, ands or gay butts. If you want to have safe sex don't let him cum in your ass. If you want him to cum in your ass be a big boy and get the picture that its not safe sex. There is no law saying you have to practice safe sex. It's your body. Do whatever the fuck you want with it. Barebacking is very fun and if you want to do it, just do it. Just please don't act like a 15 year old girl who is convinced she can't get pregnant because it is her first time. A load is a load is a load and Bareback Michael would much rather have a hot load then some frozen Frankenload.

As to the second part of this advice question. Piss is sterile. But that does not mean it sterilizes anything. Any bodily fluid can transmit sexually transmitted diseases. That includes cum, piss, shit, puke and blood. Look, it's pretty obvious you are going to let this dude convert you. Come out of the bareback closet. Either do it or don't, but don't try justifying it as safe sex. You just end up sounding like a pussy.

As to the last part of your letter. Finally, a reasonable fucking question. PNP stands for Party and Play. It refers to having gay sex while drunk or high. Often in a bar a guy will ask you if you PNP. What he means is, "do you want to get fucked up and fuck?"

Since you are clearly fucked up to begin with, you might want to avoid this until you have come to some terms with reality while sober.


Much love,

Bareback Michael

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